How to Care Without Burning Out

For the caregivers who are doing their best… even when it doesn’t feel like enough.
By Elicia Lance, Sales & Marketing Director

Being a caregiver for a loved one with dementia is not for the faint of heart. It can be exhausting, heartbreaking, overwhelming; and somehow, still full of small, quiet moments of connection and joy.

My grandma was diagnosed with dementia 12 years ago. And honestly, the journey hasn’t been easy. But my mom? She stepped in like she was born for it. She’s spent her whole career in long-term care and knew exactly what questions to ask, what support to lean on, and how to keep Grandma safe while still being her daughter, not just her caregiver.

That kind of knowledge makes a huge difference. But what about the families who don’t know where to start? Who don’t have the time to dig through resources or who are already running on fumes? What about the adult children who want to be “just the daughter” again, but are drowning in appointments, medications, and guilt?

Whether you're surrounded by a support squad or feel like you're doing this solo, here are a few honest, doable ways to care without completely burning out:

Know what’s out there
You are not expected to do this alone. But sometimes it feels like no one’s offering help unless you ask. Talk to your loved one’s doctor about support options. Call your local Department on Aging, they often have a social worker who knows what services are available and how to get them. And the Alzheimer's Association (alz.org) has a whole section dedicated to caregivers, from help lines to local support groups to printable checklists.

Prioritize self-care
Yeah, yeah we’ve all heard this. But I’m not talking about spa days and bubble baths unless that’s your thing (and if it is, go for it). I mean 10 minutes outside with a cup of coffee. Getting back into a hobby you miss. Listening to your favorite music while you fold the laundry instead of sitting in silence. Little things that make you feel like you again.

Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish. It’s actually the only way you can keep showing up long-term. If you don’t fill your own tank, the car doesn’t go.

Find your people
Join a support group. Not the kind where everyone cries and leaves more stressed out (though those happen too). I mean the kind where someone says, “Oh yeah, my mom did that too,” and you feel instantly less alone. Whether it’s an online group, a local meetup, or even a friend who just gets it, having someone to vent to, or laugh with, makes a difference.

And don’t overlook the relationships your loved one builds with their home health providers. These caregivers often become part of the family. They’re the ones who may catch little glimpses of your loved one’s personality on the days you can’t be there, sweet stories, funny moments, even quiet victories. Let them share those with you. It can be a lifeline when you’re stretched thin.

One of my grandma’s home health aides, Kenzie, still talks about her favorite memories with “Ms. Deb”, ice cream dates, painting nails, puzzles, egg painting, and the occasional living-room dance party. One story stands out for her: they were working on an Easter craft, painting eggs and stamping them on paper to make circle patterns. My grandma sat there holding the egg, looked at Kenzie, and said (rather unimpressed), “Now what am I supposed to do with this?”

Kenzie explained the whole craft idea and said she really wanted Grandma to do it with her. Without missing a beat, Grandma replied, “Oh, OK!” and jumped in, even though she clearly thought the whole thing was a little silly. It was just one of those sweet, funny moments that perfectly captured who she was, always willing to do something for someone she cared about, even if she didn’t totally get it.

Kenzie always says her smile and laugh were contagious. She was full of wisdom and love, and she made sure to share that with the people around her, including the caregivers who came into her life. 

Those connections matter. They remind you that you're not doing this alone.

Take care of your body
Don’t skip your doctor appointments. Don’t skip meals. Yes, even if you’re juggling meds and cleaning up accidents and trying to remember what day it is. And yes, I know the chips are easier, but if you can grab the baby carrots even half the time, we’re calling it a win.

Try to move a little every day. Breathe deeply once in a while. Stretch. Sit in a chair and close your eyes for 60 seconds if that’s all you’ve got.

Find reasons to laugh
Sometimes the only thing left to do is laugh; at the mix-ups, the awkward moments, or the totally unexpected ones. Keeping a sense of humor doesn’t mean you’re not taking things seriously. It means you’re choosing to hold onto the good stuff, even when the hard stuff is still there.

One day, my grandma decided to teach her dog, Sandy, how to jump up on the bed. Her solution? Climb up there herself, on all fours, and demonstrate. So there she was, rolling around on the bed like a dog while my mom and cousin stood on either side, trying not to panic while making sure she didn’t fall. My cousin started laughing first, then my mom, and then my grandma joined in, though she had no idea what was so funny. Through her laughter, she asked, “What are we all laughing about?” That just made my cousin laugh even harder: “We look like we’re filming a reality show.”

It was ridiculous. And it was hilarious. And it’s one of those moments that makes us laugh, because even in the middle of the chaos, joy found a way in.

*You can find more caregiver tips, stress-management tools, and dementia information at alz.org. Look for the “Help & Support” tab and explore from there.

Final Thoughts
Being a caregiver is one of the hardest, and most meaningful, things a person can do. It’s messy, sacred work. My mom’s not one to say “hey, look at me and what I’m doing,” but the way she’s cared for my grandma? That’s superhero-level love. She doesn’t even realize it.
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If the day comes where I’m in her shoes, I hope my daughters and son see her strength reflected in me.

And if no one has said it to you lately: you’re doing better than you think. You’re showing up. You care. That counts for more than you know.